They weren't lying when they said time flies did they? A whole month has passed by, and I really don't know what I did with it. I remember making a list of movies to watch, and things to do. I didn't even get through half of that list. I don't know why I'm surprised. The thing about holidays is that, this is what happens all the time. I just tweeted that school is a dark abyss that's gonna suck us in again, but really, holidays are the dark abyss. You get sucked into that sense of luxury and that feeling of being lazy and having nothing to do, until even when you want to come out, and get things done, you're stuck. Knowing myself, I didn't do any work, including cleaning my table and filing my stuff until an hour ago. But really, this is normal. I get this feeling of wasted time and regret everytime a holiday ends. It's nothing new.
There's another feeling that's not new, but is infinitely more terrifying. The knowledge that school is starting and I have truckloads of work and a PT that I should have done something about over the holidays, is weird. It's suffocating because you know exactly how much work there is, and how much is incomplete, and how stressed you're gonna become very soon and very fast. I can't even think of the next holidays without getting this choking feeling because thinking of the december holidays inevitably makes you think of the EYA period. That time when every student is at her lowest, reduced to shells of human beings losing weight and appetite. It's the most stressful period of the year, and the closer you get to the december holidays (infinitely more enjoyable and less work), the closer you get to that time. All the work the new semester brings is like this suffocating ball of fire surrounding you, and you have no escape from it. School shouldn't be this heart-stoppingly terrifying, right?
That said, I have previous experience with this, and I know somehow I'll survive all of it. Which is sort of consoling. Besides, I'm sort of strangely jittery and excited at the same time. Meeting friends, having a tiny bit of fun, and being EXCO and having a laugh with the rest of my batchies...it's the only thing that makes school better. I'm definitely looking forward to CCA. It's going to be so fun! (yes, like I said before, I'm not all doom and gloom. I'm a happy person who likes unicorns and firmly believes in their existence. No. Don't tell me otherwise. I'm not even joking. Unicorns have to be out there somewhere, they're too awesome not to be. We, humans, are just too dumb to see them.)
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